How to Stop Negative Self-Talk and Finally Feel Confident
How to Stop Negative Self-Talk and Finally Feel Confident
Negative self-talk is sneaky. It often shows up when we’re vulnerable. You know, when things don’t go as planned, or when we’re already feeling unsure of ourselves.
For me, it hit hard one night after a frustrating day of car shopping.
We live a minimalist, full-time RV lifestyle, and while it’s a dream come true in many ways, it comes with its own challenges. That day, we were trying to decide whether to splurge on a Jeep—a car that’s also a toy for exploring the incredible places we travel to.
After hours of back-and-forth at dealerships, we left empty-handed and frustrated. By the time I got into bed, the mean voice in my head had taken over.
“You’re 51 years old and still can’t afford to buy what you want.”
“You’ve made so many financial mistakes.”
“What’s the point of even trying?”
That voice was relentless.
As I lay there, all I could see were the things I hadn’t figured out yet—the goals I hadn’t achieved, the ways I felt I’d fallen short. And yes, reflecting on your gaps can help you grow, but only when it’s balanced with hope and action. That night, I wasn’t growing. I was stuck.
I was desperate to get out of this spiral. So, I started to pray. I prayed real hard. I begged God to help me out of this self-torture, to show me a way to stop these horrible lies that had taken over my mind.
And then, He did.
In that moment, I had a vision. It was as if I was trapped inside a rock-hard shell, surrounded by all the cruel lies my mind had been feeding me for years. But then I saw myself cracking out of it. Little by little, the shell broke apart, and I finally stepped into the light.
For the first time, I saw myself clearly—not as a failure, but as the strong, confident, accomplished woman I am.
That vision was a turning point. I realized something that I want to share with you: the first step to stopping negative self-talk is recognizing it for what it is—lies disguised as truth.
That night, I found myself lying awake at 3:30 a.m., consumed by feelings of failure and worthlessness. But I knew I couldn’t stay in that place. And neither should you.
This breakthrough taught me four powerful lessons about silencing the inner critic and stepping into confidence:
1. Recognize the Lies in Your Self-Talk
The first step to stopping negative self-talk is recognizing it for what it is: lies.
Negative self-talk thrives when we mistake it for the truth. It’s easy to believe the voice that says, “You’re not enough,”because it feels so real. But most of the time, those thoughts are rooted in fear, doubt, or old stories we’ve told ourselves for years.
That night, as I wrestled with my thoughts, I realized something important. None of those things I was telling myself—*“You’re a failure,” “You’ll never succeed”—*were true.
In reality:
I’m debt-free.
I’ve built a business helping others grow their revenue.
I wrote an entire book while living on the road!
Yet, the voice in my head wanted me to focus on the few things I hadn’t figured out yet.
Ask yourself: Are the things you’re telling yourself actually true? Or are they just fear and self-doubt disguising themselves as facts?
2. Replace Negative Thoughts with Truth
Once you’ve recognized the lies, it’s time to replace them with truth.
For me, this meant reminding myself of my accomplishments, my strengths, and the fact that my worth isn’t tied to material things or perfection.
You can do this too. Try these steps:
Write down one or two things you’re proud of from the past week.
List three qualities you admire about yourself.
Reflect on a time when you overcame a challenge—what did that teach you about your resilience?
Replacing negative thoughts with truth isn’t about ignoring your struggles. It’s about giving yourself credit where it’s due and shifting your focus to what’s possible.
3. Take a Moment to Pause and Recenter
When negative self-talk takes over, it’s easy to spiral. That’s why it’s so important to pause and recenter.
That night, I turned to prayer and meditation—two practices that ground me and help me connect with what matters most. As I prayed, I had a vision of breaking free from the shell of lies I’d been trapped in for years. It was a powerful reminder that the version of myself I see in my head isn’t always the version God (or the universe) sees.
Your recentering practice might look different. Maybe it’s journaling, taking a walk, or simply sitting quietly and breathing deeply. The key is to interrupt the cycle of negativity and reconnect with your true self.
4. Take Small, Confidence-Building Actions
Confidence doesn’t magically appear—it grows when you take small, meaningful steps outside your comfort zone.
For me, this means showing up fully in my life and work. Whether it’s stepping into a new opportunity, speaking my truth, or helping a client tackle a challenge, every small action builds my confidence.
What’s one thing you can do today to challenge your self-doubt? Maybe it’s speaking up in a meeting, starting a project you’ve been putting off, or simply telling yourself, “I’ve got this.”
Remember: Confidence grows with action.
Your Next Step to Quiet Negative Self-Talk
Stopping negative self-talk and building confidence isn’t a one-time fix—it’s a journey. But it’s one you don’t have to take alone.
In my book, Secrets for Less Stress, I share the tools and strategies that have helped me overcome negative self-talk and create a life of freedom, purpose, and joy.
And if you’re looking for personalized guidance, I’d love to work with you one-on-one. Together, we’ll identify what’s holding you back and create a plan to help you move forward with confidence.
Here’s how you can start today:
Order the book: Learn how to silence the lies and focus on what truly matters.
Book a coaching consultation: Let’s work together one-on-one to create a plan for your growth and success. https://www.angiebucy.com/about-me
Remember: The voice in your head doesn’t define you. You are capable of so much more than you realize.
If this story resonated with you, share it with a friend who might need encouragement today. Let’s start focusing on the truth and letting go of the lies—together.