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Sometimes we feel clueless in life. Don’t beat yourself up. We all go through these times of not knowing. Some decisions just aren’t meant for us to make all on our own. When you are feeling like this, it is ok to stop and wait. Pray, ask God to show you the next step. Be specific. Ask for it to be the obvious choice. Listen and without worry, just make the next small step. One baby step at a time will get you to your destination. If you still feel lost or confused, ask for help. Find a mentor that has been where you think you might want to be. Take a deep look inside of yourself to see what your core values and beliefs reveal. Take a break from your normal routine. Do something fun and stop beating yourself up about needing to figure out the next “right” move. The answer will come to you in time. Follow these guidelines…

Stop.

When you find yourself stuck and frustrated because you don’t know what you should do next, just stop. Pause for a moment. Stand still. Plant your feet on the ground, take a breath and realize that you are ok. This moment of stillness will break the pattern of thought and worry that you have been experiencing. Really experience the stillness.

Ask God. Pray.

I am going to be 100% honest with you. This has never been the first thing for me to do when I find myself struggling. I do consider myself as a woman who has a good relationship with the Divine, but I am sad to admit, I will go to so many others, all of which have very little wisdom, before I remember to go to God. One day I hope that I will learn to save myself a whole lot of pain, heartache, and time, and go to God first. When I am at a point that I am communicating with God everyday all day, I never find myself lost and confused. This is why I moved prayer higher up on the list of “to dos”.

Listen to your heart.

This one can be tough. But I promise it will get easier with practice. So many of us listen to our heads. Heck, that is what is right between our ears after all. But I would like to challenge you to move your attention below your neck. Put your hands over the center of your chest, your heart space. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Really feel your heart. If you listen long enough, you will know the true answers to your questions.

Meditate. Turn off all distractions and sit with yourself and breathe. 

Sit comfortably in a quiet place free of distractions. When I say that all you need to do is sit and breathe, that is the truth. You may want to close your eyes. If you choose to keep your eyes open, focus your eyes on one object, a candle or flower or possibly a tree. Something that will not be distracting from your breath. Now it's time to begin, inhale and exhale. Now do it again. You can even say the words to yourself INHALE, then EXHALE. 5 minutes out of your day to slow down and help you start to realize that you do deserve to take time for yourself, slow down and breathe. You can also try guided meditations, where someone’s voice is leading you through a relaxation method to help you clear your mind and experience an even deeper sense of peace and joyful living. A guided meditation mp3 file is included when you purchase my Secrets for Less Stress ebook. Learn more about that by clicking this link HERE. For more tips on simple meditation read this post Beginners Guide to Meditation. 

Exercise. Meditate. Relax. A good friend and teacher of mine, Kathy Holmes, led a retreat called Move Breathe Be. I learned a lot that weekend. If you first move your body, get the blood flowing, and then do some breath work, you will open yourself up to really feel the benefits of your meditation. That is why so many people do yoga prior to meditation. I will say, Move Breathe Be did bring my meditation practice to a whole new level.

You can learn more about Kathy and her retreats here https://kathyholmes.yoga. And check out her book on Amazon Soberly Ever After, How to Stay Sober While Loving Your Life and the People in It.

Only worry about your very next step. Make it a small one. 

Don’t overthink it. Just make a move. Let go of making the perfect choice. If you don’t like where that step took you, just take another step and you’ll find yourself in a new place!

Find a Mentor.

If you have a mentor, or someone in your life that you fully trust to give you some wise feedback, ask them for guidance. Do you have one of those friends that isn’t afraid to ask the hard questions? 

Journal.

If you have a journal, or a notebook, or some scrap paper, this is the time to use it. Write yourself a letter. Write the stories that keep playing out in your mind. Your answer could be hidden in one of those stories. If you are shopping for a journal, you can find one HERE.

Look deep inside at your core values. 

Those values that make up who you are. Those values that tell you what you stand for in life. They guide your daily behaviors and how you interact in relationship with others. Your values help you make priorities in your life. When you truly know your core values, that will show you direction in living your authentic life.

Take a break. 

It's ok to do nothing for a little while. Go ahead and watch some mindless binge worthy netflix. But when you're done with the mindless stuff, try watching something inspirational or listen to an inspiring podcast. 

Do some research. Pick something fun, healthy, exciting, become your own inspiring story!

Conclusion:

When you are feeling overwhelmed or stuck and you don’t know what to do next, follow these tips. Stop for a bit. Get grounded in where you are right now. Stop beating yourself up for not knowing what you don’t know. Pray, meditate and listen to your heart. Find a mentor, make sure this is someone who has your best interests in mind. Spend time alone, journaling and dig deep to see what you really want. Whatever you do, don’t be hard on yourself. We all learn from mistakes. That is what gets us further along on our journey. Go with the flow. :)

You've heard the expression “go with the flow” but you don’t really know what that means in real life. 

Imagine yourself floating peacefully down a stream, comfortably cradled in a giant inner tube. You are experiencing the perfect blend of the cool water, gentle breeze, and warm rays of the sun. Complete Bliss! You could float like this forever. You notice some rapids up ahead. You paddle like crazy against the current to a nearby branch and hold on for dear life. You know in your head that the water is only knee deep if you are standing and your friends are floating nearby, yet the thought of going through the rapids ahead is terrifying so you continue to hold that branch. The pressure of the current is making your arms so tired. Some of your friends were unable to get to a branch so they went through the rapids, you hear some screams and some laughing, you wonder what happened to them. You feel your grip on the branch loosening. The pressure of the current is too strong for you to go against any longer. And Woosh. You let go. The flow of the stream takes you through a wild ride for about 30 seconds. And now you are peacefully floating down the stream again, thinking to yourself… That was kinda fun, why was I so afraid?

The struggle and fear of possibly going through difficult times is what you experience when you are not going with the flow. No matter how hard you fight, things just don't get any easier. What you need to do is let go. Life might be crazy for a bit, but that is how we grow and learn. Pretty soon the flow will take you to the other side of the rapids where you will yet again find smooth sailing.