How to Love Life When you are Having “The Worst Day Ever!”
Let’s face it. No matter how long we have been on this personal development/spiritual awakening path, there will be days that make you feel like the sense of joy will never, ever come to you again.
Yesterday was one of those days for me. Oh, the thoughts that went through my mind. Am I in the wrong place? Have I made the wrong decisions? How am I supposed to move on from here? Am I strong enough to get through this? Why can’t I seem to find anyone who cares?
What do you think I did next?
Yep, I went on Facebook! As if that ever works to make me feel better about myself. The place where everyone shares how wonderful life is. On a good day, I click “like” on all of those beautiful moments, but not on a day like this one. Those posts just made me feel even worse about myself. I hope you can relate? But I kept scrolling. Then I came upon a post from my friend Maria, an amazing woman who I also call sister even though we do not see each other nearly enough anymore.
Her post says “Today the LORD tells you; I have plans for you and they are good!!!
Of course I clicked on the heart to love the post and commented with “Thank you”. Immediately, she knew what kind of day I was having. She responded with the Bible verse, Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
I will tell you right now. I love Jesus and call on God’s help all the time, but I am no Bible scholar. Maria on the other hand always knows just the right verse for the right moment. She is amazing!
You know that I started to cry after reading her message, and I want to let you know that I 100% believe her words were also God's message.
I needed to completely break down.
There I was, yet again so tired of holding it all together. I am thinking to myself “How in the heck am I supposed to help other women love their life when I can’t seem to get my shit together and love my own life?”
Why do we believe that it is our job as humans to just keep your shit inside and hold it all together? Maybe if we let go of that belief, we wouldn’t have so many breakdowns? But there I was, shit overflowing and busting at the seems. When I say “shit” I am speaking of all of the little stories that my mind is making up about everything that is happening or not happening. All of those perceptions that are so easy to believe about what someone did or said or thinks about something we did or said or thinks about us. Or even worse, the so called shortcomings that we perceive to be true about ourselves!
Well, I have gone through enough processes in my life to know that I can get through this one as well. Let’s get going!
Meditate!
I decided that I needed to spend some time in meditation. I sat in silence and tried to count my inhales and exhales but that wasn’t helping. Sometimes, when I am feeling particularly low, I have learned that seeking help is way more productive than continuing to beat myself up. Panache Desai has some wonderful guided meditations on YouTube. I found his most recent post “Life is here to support you!” 21 minutes of beautiful meditation filling me with the Light!
Unfortunately, once that 21 minutes were over, I went right back to the worst day ever. It was like I just could not snap out of this funk. That’s it. I’m depressed.
At this time, I am still working a full time job. Customer service and sales during COVID 19 working from home… I know, we are all in the same boat. But right now, retail customer service is eating my spirit.
Please be thoughtful when dealing with customer service agents. Whatever happened, it is not their fault. That is my PSA for the day :)
My point is, I had to go back to work. At this point in my life, sitting in meditation all day long until everything becomes clear, just isn’t an option. I can only assume that you are in the same situation? For the rest of the day, my mind just kept swirling around the stories of how much I have not accomplished in my life and how stuck I am feeling.
Gratitude!
I need to have a moment of gratitude!
OK, let’s list 5 things that I am grateful for.
I am currently working from home and I can get laundry done while answering emails.
My dog loves me even when I am sad.
My screened in back porch makes a wonderful home office.
Leggings! Feels like PJ’s but they are accepted by the general public as pants!
A full pantry :)
That brings me to the next step in my process for the day…
I want brownies! So I made brownies.
Not only do I get to enjoy them, but my family will be so happy to have them as well. This feeds my warm chocolate craving and my need to show my family how valuable I am. Yep, recovering people pleaser here! (I am virtually raising my hand). Oh those brownies were so good. But just a quick fix that left as quickly as it came during my “worst day ever”.
Connect with your Tribe!
As the hours clicked by, I finally realized that I was hopeless. I needed help. I have to surrender to the fact that I am only human. And I can not figure everything out all by myself. Trying to use my mind to figure out everything especially on a day like today can only make things worse. This is why we humans need a tribe. Friends, family, loved ones, a therapist. We all need someone who is there to listen. Someone to love us when we are feeling raw. Someone we can share our feelings with and be vulnerable. I am truly fortunate to have a tribe. If you are seeking out a tribe, please let me know in the comments below.
Have a good cry
When my partner got home and got in the door, I walked up to him with these words “hold me” and he did. And I cried.
Of course he was concerned but soon learned that he needed to dish out some of our version of tough love. For us that means emptying out. An Emotional Purge! This is one of the hardest things for me to do in a relationship. I still have that fear that my true feelings will not be validated. But you know what? We all have to get over that fear. If you can not share your true self, scary feelings and all, then that is not the relationship for you.
Ask for help
After that purge and then dinner, I did start to feel better about myself and my day, but there was still that cranky feeling in the pit of my stomach. With all of the personal development I have done in the 20+years, I knew there was one more step needed to turn this day away from its title as “The Worst Day Ever!” It is time to make an appointment with my Energy Worker. Yes, I have an Energy Worker. She is an amazing woman that has taught me so many tools to clear the energy in and around my body associated with everything that I have ever gone through. I am a very sensitive person that tends to internalize almost everything. Jacki has a beautiful God given gift to pass along everything that she has learned about Eden Energy Medicine to help you clear, move through, and let go of everything that I ask her to help with. What makes me believe that Jacki also has magical powers, all I have to do is text her and make an appointment and I start to feel the effects of the healing process.
To Wrap it up:
No matter how much work you do in the field of personal development, you are still going to have “bad” days. Here are a few tips to help you get through those days and still remember to love yourself and your life.
Remind yourself when scrolling through social media that not to go down the rabbit hole of comparing your “worst day ever” to all of the beautiful moments that your friends decide to share.
Stay open to messages from God. When you open your mind, heart, and your eyes, messages from the Divine can take so many forms. Even one of those Facebook posts!
It is 100% ok and more than likely necessary to have a good cry. Call it a breakdown if you want, but it will eventually lead to a breakthrough.
Spend time in meditation. If you are having trouble finding that quiet place on your own, there are many guided meditations available online or you may even join a meditation group near you.
List at least 5 things that you are grateful for. Gratitude is very powerful to combat a negative outlook on life.
Treat yourself good. We all have heard the saying “everything in moderation”. On these days, if you think allowing yourself a treat whether its a brownie sundae or a new pair of shoes, go for it. Everything in moderation here :)
Confide in your tribe. Sometimes we need someone to lean on and that is what we do as members of a tribe.
Find skilled help. Whether it's a therapist, pastor, counselor, or an energy worker, use that help.