Is It Normal to Get Upset when Someone Doesn’t Like What You Made for Dinner?

One day last week I decided to make a dish that my family had been asking to have for a couple of days. We have all been feeling a little on edge with so much going on around us, so I thought a nice family dinner with one of their favorite dishes would be a great mood enhancer. Yes, I do show my love through my food. Well, first off dinner was ready way before everyone got home from work and after school activities. So yes, I started to beat myself up for not planning my timing better. That was my first mistake. Also, I tried a slightly different cooking method than usual. Don’t ask me why. The original method was not difficult. I am just always trying new things in the kitchen. Sometimes my madness works. Well that night it didn’t. Once everyone was home and ready to eat, we noticed that the rice turned out really mushy. I was asked if a new pot of rice could be made and I lost it! At first I was like Gordon Ramsey on an angry rant on Hell’s Kitchen. Then I went to “go ahead, make more rice, I don’t care!” Then I started crying. I made another pot of rice and cried the whole time. I was thinking to myself “what am I doing?” and also thinking “I have failed and my family obviously does not love me because I suck at making rice!” It was just rice yet it was the end of the world as I know it. I couldn’t eat after that and went to my bedroom to cry it out. What is wrong with me? Have you ever experienced such nonsense?

I felt so alone. The next day I shared this story with a friend. She told me about making a pasta dish for her family that ended with her also running to her bedroom to cry. WTF people?! Do our families really not understand what we go through to try and make them happy at dinner? 

So I started doing some research. It turns out that we are not alone. After reading several online forums and meeting with a few more friends, I realize that women are getting their feelings hurt all the time over dinner not being to everyone’s liking! 

It's not just women. Anyone who takes on the task of being the one that normally prepares meals for the family goes through this pain. A woman posted in one forum that when this happens to her she listens to “Hurt Feelings” by Flight of the Conchords. These guys rap about how it hurts when you spend time trying to make a meal for your friends and family and nobody compliments the meal. I never heard the song. Check it out on YouTube. It just helped to validate my feelings and I hope this helps you as well.

Why Are We So Emotionally Triggered by a Dish not Turning out Perfectly?

This is not just about dinner. This has been piling up for a while. This usually happens when we are too tired, too busy, too stressed, and really wish someone would notice how we feel. And by “we”, I am talking about each and every family member. Stress and tension has a tendency to be contagious in a family. When one or two of us are not feeling our best, the rest of the family starts to feel down as well. When this umbrella feeling takes over, it can totally spiral out of control. 

If you begin to recognize this starting to happen in your family, someone has to take control. You may not feel like it. You may already feel overwhelmed with life, but if you don’t start to talk about it or find a solution soon, things tend to get more and more stressful. 

Here are a few suggestions for when these emotional triggers strike:

• Get out of your normal routine.

• Clear your head.

• Take a break.

I am a huge fan of Dave Ramsey and his steps to financial freedom. He suggests that the first thing you do is save up $1000 for an emergency fund. Well, this is probably not what Dave is talking about when he says emergency fund, but trust me…. This is an Emergency! You and your family can not take this kind of stress any longer! Take some of that money and get takeout! Get takeout every night this week if you have to. And Let go of the notion that the “perfect mom” makes a perfectly tasty and nutritious meal every night!

Let me know in the comments below “How Does it Feel When You Serve Your Family Dinner and No One Compliments You?” And share this article to anyone that you know in need of a shout out for making dinner!